Friday, November 21, 2008

The Power Play

In order to play the Romance Game, which is really the game of life, you need to believe in yourself. A lot of our self-confidence, our ego, or our inward power comes from our own mental perception of ourselves. If we feel badly about how we look or feel, our ego probably needs a boost. Now men may see this as a woman's "thing" and not applicable to them. Hold on.
There are substitutions for this fun solution I'll be talking about which will give you a boost,too, and I'll suggest a couple eventually.

I wrote about a delightful couple, Tom and Linda, in my book "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" who met in adjacent fields of real estate. Linda, a widow, was rather unsure of herself. As manager of a title office, she was instructed by her home office to take local realtors out for lunch. Her sister told her she should wear some power underwear to give her confidence. "I had on my purple underwear and felt good," she said.

Power underwear can be purple, hot pink, or deep red. So if you want that little extra edge, go out and buy your favorite color. Not just one piece, but the complete ensemble. Go for it. Besides we all need a treat now and then. You might be surprised how good it will make you feel. How powerful. It helped Linda get her man!

Men could get that power tie. Or now your underwear is beginning to appear in pleasing colors and in a variety of styles. No longer do you have to have droopy drawers because you aren't built like Mr. America. You'll even find a variety of styles at the discount stores. Or how about that Egyptian cotton shirt for which you've been lusting.

Of course self-confidence is more than clothes - under or outer. But it's a good start. If you know you feel and look good, then that's one worry you won't have. And dating at any age can be a strain on our egos. Will we be attractive to the other person? That first impression is very important. This holds true for a job interview as well.

Now there's more to Tom and Linda's story which is on page 132. It was several years between the time they met and when they married. A charming couple. You can visit my web site to read more about my book @ where you'll find my email or order it from your local bookstore. You can also leave a comment for me on this blog. My book is for all people of all ages looking for romance. While, as I've suggested before, romance isn't the only thing which will make your life worthwhile, it surely helps.

If you look your best regardless of where you are going, then your mind is free to concentrate on other people and work/social events.

Enjoy. I would love to hear from you. I also plan to write about romantic trips Harry and I have taken which I'll feature as "The Glorious Adventure".


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Expectations Can Make You Unhappy

Many of us have been brainwashed to believe that if we just find the right pill, be it an antibiotic, a vitamin, an anti-aging elixir, etc, we'll be cured and healthy. We have learned through advertising and many medical promises to have unrealistic expectations. Of course we find out the hard way that it's simply not true. We may find a pill that helps, but we eventually realize we also may have to change our life-style, lose weight, exercise, and/or develop a healthy regime of vitamins and good supplements in order to feel better.

It's the same belief we have that if and when we find that perfect someone who will be our soul mate, that all our worries will be over. We'll be happy. Of course that's not true either. If we aren't happy within ourselves, there is no one who can make us happy. Our loved one can make us happier, but to expect our partner to totally and completely make us happy is an unrealistic expectation which is doomed to disappointment.

It's true that sometimes I resort to St. John's wort to keep my mood elevated, but I know that how I view life is up to me. It's my responsibility. Harry, my late life love, certainly has put a lot of fun and excitement into my life as well as love and caring, but I have to try to keep my own life full and interesting as well. I also have to try to make his life more fun and show my love, too. It's a two way street. Again, it's just not one thing that makes a good relationship, but a number of things. He's certainly the only man I've ever met who enjoys going shopping with me and actually encourages me to buy shoes. Now how perfect can someone be! Of course neither one of us is without faults, but it would probably be boring if we were. And how lucky I am that he creates the great cartoons for this blog. On the other hand, we can't seem to decide how to merge our households. Neither one of us is all wise about everything.

Thought for the day: When you're driving your car and someone follows you so closely that their bumper seems to be almost in your back seat, do you ever get the urge to slam on your brakes? I often think of the scene in "Fried Green Tomatoes" where the annoyed Kathy Bates rams her big car into a little car driven by a young pretty gal who has stolen her parking place with the comment that the intruder may not be young and pretty, but she (Kathy) has better insurance! What's your thought for the day?

And now, the latest astrology tips from my friend Sheila!

The two weeks after the full moon in November is the time for all water signs which include Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces to shift into a lower gear. Cancers should take time to relax, spend some time alone, and enjoy some entertainment (but not doing the entertaining). Pisces might do the traveling previously scheduled in the summer. Scorpios could use this time to make some great moves in smart money management.

For all air signs, relationships may be uncertain due to their erratic nature. We'll take a look at the secret works of Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius as we move along, but for this November, Gemini wants "change" just for the sake of it, perhaps to adjust projects from the summer. Libras may not maintain their expected pace, but it will improve. The week of Thanksgiving brings some adventure. Aquarians should hold off on making permanent changes. Something totally different will be taking place and new people will enter into the picture during the holidays.

Earth signs tend to be black and white about their thought processes, but are deeply committed to the ones they love. Taurus needs to nail down some decisions about events from May through June and now is the time to decide. Virgo desires security from now and through the New Year, however this may bring about some self-defeating behavior. Reconstruct your workload. Venus is in Capricorn now so the holiday spirit could start early, and as Venus always suggests, look your best! Appearances are everything to Venus.

The fire signs of Aries, Leo and Sagittarious are hot. They are great at new beginnings and are very proud of their accomplishments. Aries is in for a great surprise after the Full Moon week with a possible smart investment or windfall. Exotic desires will be intriguing after November 19th. For Leos, a new start boosts your sense of adventure and your charitable side is willing to be generous. November for Sagittarius is a whirlwind of fascinating opportunities and challenges and how they love a challenge! From now and into next month will be your most productive times. New friends and lots to accomplish is the menu for the birthdays up to December 21st.

In our next visit I'll be discussing the compatibilities of the signs as we move through the years and just for fun, I'll compare the charts of Harry and Gloria. Is this a match made in the heavens or ? Where could they find trouble? Anticipate some great secrets, fun, surprises and even some seduction tips. Follow the stars to find love, success and happiness! Your star gazer, Sheila

Well, that's all for this post, my friends. Hope you had a good time reading it and we'd love to hear from you. Gloria

Thursday, November 13, 2008

A Long Distance Relationship

Hello there,

While working on my book, "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50," I interviewed a couple who met on the internet. ( You can read their story on page 157.) I also discovered at that time one of my columnists, a vice-president for a local bank, who wrote about investments for my magazine "Choices" met his second wife on-line. Both couples were very happy and pleased with their experiences. When I had started writing the book in 1998, there were only a few general sites. Shortly after I finished my book in 2002, I checked back on the internet to see what was happening on the dating sites. I found there were an abundance of them. For instance, if you like horses, you can find other singles who also like horses, or dogs, or travel, etc.

I joined three dating services to monitor them and found at that time there were the most possibilities for older singles on Yahoo Personal. It was there I saw a picture of a man holding a cat that looked interesting to me (the man not the cat). I have loved and lived with cats all my life and while most of the men I had dated in the past, tolerated them, none shared my enthusiasm.

It turned out to be a fortunate choice. Harry (who draws the cartoons on this blog) is an artist with a similar life style to mine. He has three cats, I have two, and we had a wonderful time together right from the beginning. There are some problems such as getting our cats to get along with each other, and driving the 100 miles between our two homes, but basically it's a great relationship. What I'm saying is that you need to find someone who has the same interests and values as you do. We have both led independent life styles so we understand the self discipline it takes to be successful. Of course it's that very independent life style we have developed over the years that is making it so difficult to combine our lives. We love all our friends in both locations. It's too bad we can't just draw a circle and drop our lives and all our friends into it.

One of the guidelines that I suggest in my book is that you only date people within a 60 miles radius which seemed to work well for the couples I interviewed. Even though I had asked to see men within that area, dating sites often ignore the parameters you request. Within 60 miles it's pretty easy to drive back and forth, meet their friends, see where they live. The 100 miles Harry and I drive can be an effort. Now I am most happy that my wishes were ignored, but until we figure out how to combine his studio with his many computers in his Frank Lloyd Wright type house and my almost 100 year old house in which I have lived for ever and which is filled with my writing, photography, antiques etc. we cannot go forward. A shorter distance would have been really nice. We also travel a fair amount which we enjoy and we both have excellent cat sitters. This photo was taken in Las Vegas where Harry has friends from the days he worked in advertising in Detroit. You can read about those on his Harry Borgman Art Blog.

In my last post I mentioned my friend Sheila, a psychic and an astrologer. She called me last night about the full moon. Here's a few words about that:

The full moon, November 13 , was in the sign of Taurus the Bull. This sign is the second house of the zodiac and rules the neck and shoulders.It is the last phase of the moon opposite Mars. This position of the moon can make work quite difficult. However reverse psychology can work well at a time such as this. If you can identify the barriers that have blocked your progress, work at dissolving them.

The moon is actually good for healing and losing weight. Visualize the obstacle and focus on replacing it with what you DO want.

Sheila will talk about astrology charts, comparision of lovers' charts, and good times for love and success in future posts.

That's it for today. Tell your friends about this blog and join in the full. Lots more coming with stories of health, travel, and of course, romance.


Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Romance of Love & Life

Hi dear friends,

I'm back after giving a party for my oldest son, going to several parties, and then collapsing from exhaustion. I'll try to do better in the future as I think you'll enjoy what's coming up. As the cartoon suggests, I'm in this blog for the long term.

While many think of romance only in the terms of a love relationship, and believe a life is empty without one, I say we need to have a romance with life. I was a widow for 23 years and decided that I could have an exciting life with or without a man. Finally when I had almost decided that I was never going to meet that special person, I found a wonderful guy on the internet. He's the artist drawing the cartoons which appear on this blog and he's having great success with his blog as well. (harryborgmanartblog). But before I met him, I dated several others. I decided to have a good time regardless of whether I was smitten or not. I also decided to appreciate and have fun each day. which meant that I had to be healthy, enrich my mind, and fill other parts of my life.

As a journalist I constantly meet interesting people. In fact many people envy my life style as I travel many places, control my own life, and am or was fairly well known in the area. I always try to keep a positive attitude about whatever happens which include disappointments, too. I wrote the book, "50 Ways to Find Romance after 50" which describes through interviews with couples over 50 ways that people in several countries met that special someone and found romance. The photo to the left was the cover of a weekly newspaper special insert called Mature Life.

While I was writing my book, a girlfriend and I went on a cruise to South America and had a great time. While I didn't meet anyone during the trip, I did interview a woman who had set her sights on the First Mate and did in fact marry him. Another woman I interviewed years ago decided that she wanted to meet someone on a cruise. I learned that she had been a nun for 15 years and then left the convent. She married, was widowed, and then started going on National Geographic cruises. Actually she sailed on eight of them before she met the ship's doctor's father who had just lost his wife. There are obviously many ways to meet that special someone. But while you're looking, remember to have fun. To make your life more exciting, you can also consult your horoscope.

I have a dear friend, Sheila, who is a psychic and an astrologer. She will be giving tips every so often in this post. You may not believe in it, but it's still fun to read. After all one of our own first ladies felt that through astrology she helped to guide the presidency and may have saved her husband's life.

According to Sheila, astrology is a science, not a belief. "It is the study of the Zodiac, an ancient way of studying the "wheel in the sky" for all purposes, from weather conditions to predicting future events; even human characteristics. A horoscope is a map of the position of the planets at a specific time and place and a horoscope chart can be made for a person at the time of birth or at the present. The map or Zodiac has 12 signs or houses. Your birth day will determine your Sun Sign and that will give you a general idea of the characteristics you may possess in relation to the heavens.

"A chart can be as general or as detailed as you want it to be. For instance, late October and early November birthdays are grouped under the Sun Sign Scorpio. The chart would then give you the placement of the other planets, the moon, and a rising sign at the time of birth. The purpose for mapping a chart is to see where there are opportunities or "open windows" and what are the best times for say, romance, as well as cautions when you should wait. For centuries kings relied on astrologers to plan wars, marriages and other matters of state.

"It is also possible to compare the two charts of lovers to see how compatible they might be. It can be great fun and perhaps an insight into all kinds of endeavors!"

Well that's just a sample of the information you'll find on this blog. Please let me know what you would like to read. We'll talk about health. Occasionally about current events. Even a dumb thought of the day. I also plan to bring you on trips I will call our Glorious Adventures.

Stay warm.